I really hate not having internet. It’s stupid. I mean, I never had it growing up, and I really don’t want to say that I can’t live without it… I just hate not having convenient access to it.

I miss tumblring. I miss keeping up to date with you guys. I miss having a place to share my thoughts. They’re all stuck in my head now, cos I’m too unmotivated to write them down elsewhere. Plus writing hurts my hand (tenpin bowling injury).

I spent about 4 hours today playing Viva Pinata on the xbox by myself. I’m so lame. And had so much to do. But did that instead.

I’m frustrated because I had all these plans and hopes for my spiritual life after Summer Project, but it’s been a week now, and I’m just as useless and pathetic as before. I haven’t read my bible once since I got home. I know I’m the only one who can do something about it, and in truth I worked INSANELY A LOT last week. But today was totally free. I started talking to God, but got so distracted. BY NOTHING. Gah.

I don’t really have any motivation to find direction. I desperately want direction, I know that in my heart - but my head is buzzing with so much STUFF. The enemy is getting to me.

My fingers hurt like hell because of all the biting and picking and tearing I’ve been doing (well played, Anxiety. Well played) and I keep thinking so negatively.

Also, God has given me the chance to lead a Morning church service (Eep! I’ve only ever done Night Church!) and I’m excited, but also feeling hypocritical because I really don’t feel like I’m looking to Him to lead it.

So.. yeah. Can’t keep going, at the inlaws and people keep walking past and trying to read over my shoulder. It’s frustrating. So < /rant >

Bright Spot: My singing is improving, I feel. Also, Flyleaf is amazing.

I wanna thank all you rad kids who have been formspringing me while I’ve been gone. It really makes me smile. I love when I see a new email on my phone, and it’s from Formspring. So thanks!!!

Have a good night girls and guys. xx